Limerick Sunday (1-17-21)

 A little old gnome sat on a bench.

He reached out and grabbed a wrench.

Gave it a twist.

In the mist.

Then stood to dance a jig with his wench.

By: Carrie Keiser

Family Night Limericks

By Daren Flynn

Scary Carrie

I once knew a girl whose name was Carrie

She wanted to get married and would not tarry.

She had to graduate High School

Because that was the rule.

Now she drives a school bus and that's really scary.

 

Shaylee Bug

I have a granddaughter we often call Shaylee Bug.

Her personality and ready smile at my heartstrings tug.

She flits from here to there

And does it without a care

But always greets me with a great big hug.

 

Family Hookup

When our family hooks up on Sunday night

Our conversations may be serious or may be trite.

Whatever we do its always fun

And that is not a pun.

Sharing stories and playing games is just a pure delight.

 

Baseball

Baseball was the national sport back in the day

Teams were made up of men who liked to play

And every boy had a dream

To play on his favorite team.

But now its just how much does it pay.

 

Cowboys Good Luck

I know a cowboy who drove a cattle truck

Which meant he had to shovel the bovine muck

Well, I'm tired of this he said

And then he switched to a flatbed

And that's how he made his own good luck.

 

The Scholar

Wally checked out some books from the public library

But they were too heavy for him to carry

So he stayed and he read them all

Tho' it took him from Spring to Fall

And now you know why he's still in Tucumcari

 

From Failure to Success

There once was a boy who told his dad

He'd failed at baseball and it made him sad

So dad taught him to pitch

Which he learned without a hitch

Now, as a winner of the Cy Young, he's rad.

 

Get Your Order Right

For his ride to the chuck wagon one day

A cowboy's choice was a big unbroken dappled gray

The bronc bucked and threw him high

Down he came in a cow pie

I didn't order dessert he was heard to say.

 

A Rare Story

I will tell you a story that's so rare

About a boy who thought he killed a bear

On the bruin's back he jumped

The bear ran and he got dumped

Now you must agree there's no story to compare.

 

Too Tall

I know a couple whose house is so small

They can't stand up straight because they are too tall

No other could they buy

The prices were too high

So they stoop and it doesn't bother they a'tall

 

Exercise

Exercise is good for the body they all say

But if you use their gym you must pay

So why not take a short hike

Or maybe you could ride your bike

Exercising for free seems to be the best way.

 

The Fight

We have a black cat whose name is Midnight

With our dog Leo he got into a fight.

Poor little Leo lost an eye

But at least he didn’t  die.

Then we had Midnight declawed to make it right.

Limericks By Myrna Flynn

#1

The things Ryker finds that are inedible,

Are amazingly uncountable and quite incredible,

Shoes, socks, slippers or clothes,

Why try to wear those?

The pup will chew things quite indigestible.

#2

Sad story of a town, I will tell,

Shop's and stores and gyms not doing well,

Businesses failing unemployment growing

Homeless and hungry, poverty showing

The demise of the town easy to foretell.

#3

There once was a boy, named Willie

Who had a sweetheart, named Millie

A displaced man named Donald

Who brought his friend named Ronald

Challenged, Willie, who knocked them both silly.

#4

There once was a gunslinger named Slick,

Who with a revolver was very quick.

Then along came Clancy,

With weapon not fancy,

And took him out with a brick.

#5

There once was a boy named Willie

Who had a sweetheart he called sweet Millie

But her jilted lover Donald intruded

Of course he was completely deluded

The others said his claim was just plain silly.

Limerick by William Flynn

I got to the water and it was low

And if only I had a boat to row

Then I would begin fishing

Casting out line and wishing

After catching no fish I brought out a bow.

Limericks by Ryanne Leavitt

#1

There was a young man names Anders

Often he goes out and wanders

And when he is out

And walking about

On really tough topics he ponders.

#2

Limerick writing is so hard

Most I write, I discard

But if I could

Maybe I should

For then they would call me a bard.

#3

When Jimmy went to town

He was wearing quite the frown

His attitude was rotten

'Cause a letter he had gotten

From a fellow named Farmer Brown.

There once was a bird in a tree

It Is said that is where he likes to pee

On the ground

People are found

Saying this is not the place to be

I once was introduced to a man

All of his friends call him Stan

His girl Sue

Seemed so blue

Until she got up and ran

There once was a boy from the Zoo

Who before trips needed to poo

Family would depart

Before he could fart

Leaving him stuck in the loo

Limericks by Aaron Leavitt

#1

There once was a genie so bad

His owners just ended up sad

For all of his wishes

Just ended up fishes

So when he moved on they were glad.

#2

Sally Johnson was something to see

The eyes on her face numbered three

And when she blinked quickly

Her friends all felt sickly

All those eyelashes made them dizzy.

#3

Dudley Johnson was everyone's nerd

All their technical problems he heard

He said turn off the power

Then just wait half an hour

His success rate was almost absurd.