Hold My Phone and Watch This -- Aug 8, 2021

(some are true some are not!)

By: Colleen Holmquist

 Hold my phone and watch this were the last words he uttered.

By: Cary Holmquist

“Hold my phone and watch this!” 

Hold on to your hats, because this will come as big news to everyone: I am not much into adventure.   Okay, okay, so it was not big news or ANY kind of news to anyone.  

And so, although this topic of “Hold my phone and watch this” holds some appeal to me as a source of entertainment—that is, something for ME to watch—making the topic a true or even fictional story about me…well…there just is not going to be much there.  

Oh, sure, in my youth I did a few adventurous things that could start with that phrase—jumping off Maclay bridge or the rock over the Blackfoot outside of Bonner or the high bank between the University and Jacob’s Island in the Clark Fork…. Wow!  Huh?   Evidently I survived fine and it was a thrill for a moment and then cold water on given a hot summer day.   

I was trying to think up a fictional scenario, but as soon as I put my ego into it, the “my” in the phrase, nothing came to mind that would finish the “this” of “Hold my phone and watch this….”  

So, there we are.  “Playing it safe” will never be one of our story prompts, because, yawn….  So sorry.  Well, at least that is something that you won’t have to say after “Playing it safe,” because that is inherent in safety—yawn!—no need to be sorry.  

Unlike, “…and watch this!”  Which almost always involves some kind of regret. 

So…it seems that my part in all this is that I am the one who holds the phone and watches.  So let’s get going….

HOLD MY PHONE AND WATCH THIS

by: Daren Flynn

7/21/21

"Hold my phone and watch this," a phrase he had repeated more times than he could begin to remember. A phrase he found to be very useful. in point of fact, it is the phrase that catapulted him to stardom.

He is Tad, a man with no last name. Tad was born in poverty in the lower east side of the city. He never knew his mother, a teen who got mixed up with the wrong crowd and ended up as one of the many homeless kids living on the streets. She was heavily into drugs and had no idea who the father of her baby was.

All alone and living in an alley in a makeshift cardboard shelter, she gave birth to little Tad in the middle of the night in mid December. Knowing she would be unable to care for the newborn. She wrapped him in an old blanket and took him to the local Mission around the corner where she placed him on the doorstep, rang the doorbell and ran away.

Tad was taken in by the middle aged couple who ran the Mission and given the name by which he was know thereafter. They raised him as their own and Tad was the pride and joy of the childless couple.

The Mission was his home and his playground. Tad soon became the center of attention, not only his surrogate parents, but also the unfortunates who frequented the Mission for spiritual and physical help available there. They all laughed and clapped their hands in response to his childish antics.

Little Tad loved the attention. He loved the laughter and the applause. The more they laughed and clapped their hands, the more he preformed. He was a natural they all said. As he grew and matured, Tad had no desire for anything other than entertaining people. he developed a standup comedy routine and added to it regularly.

He took his standup gig from the Mission to the streets and was "discovered" by a passing talent scout. Soon Tad was playing small clubs and eventually worked his way up to the larger venues and finally to Las Vegas.

During his second show in Vegas, Tad, without thinking before hand, had a career magnifying idea. Epiphany may be more accurate in describing what came to his mind at the moment.It was crucial to his on-going entertainment plans. Spontaneously, Tad called an individual up to the stage from the audience to assist him.

When the young lady stepped on the stage, Tad handed her his cell phone and said, "Hold my phone and watch this." Tad then dropped to the floor and lifted his right leg up and over his head, left it there, grabbed his left leg and placed it over his head as well. With both legs locked behind his head, he wrapped his arms around himself and began rolling around the stage.

The crowd went wild, into absolute hysterics. Laughing, hooting, hollering and clapping. They loved it, couldn't get enough of it. They couldn't stop as long as he kept rolling.

Tad finally became so tired he could not roll any more, so he called his assistant to help him untangle himself, took a a bow and exited stage right.

Tad's contract was extended indefinitely and he ended every show from that time on with the phrase, "Hold my phone and watch this" but added a repertoire of weird stunts to follow his signature phrase.

Next time you're in Vegas, find out where Tad is performing and take in the strangest, funniest standup gig ever. Oh, here, HOLD MY PHONE AND WATCH THIS!

Hold My Phone and Watch (or Clara and Phone)

BY: Myrna Flynn

I really do not know why anyone would want to "hold my phone and watch," but I guess I will had it to Clara and see what happens. OOPS! I think maybe I should have looked for someone else to give it to.

I am not really sure what she is doing with it. Guess I had better see or I may find that all of my information that was stored in it may become all gone. NO, I think she may be helping me out. She is sorting through my email messages and discarding many. She is reading the headings and then pitching most out. That is good, because I find myself getting bogged down and saving too many.

I think she has finished. Guess I will ask to check it out. Great, she only saved about 12 out of 200 and they look like ones I might want to read. I will give it back to her now and see what else she can do that might lessen the build up.

I think I will go in to the kitchen and start lunch. It is fast Sunday and the 24 hours are nudging close to the time when I can think of what to fix. I may fudge little and get it made in 20 hours. Since we only eat 2 meals a day and today we will be eating only 1, that maybe okay.

What's that I heard? Sounds like someone else is trying to take my phone away from Clara. I had better run in there and see what is happening. Yep, Liam is trying to convince her to give it to him.

He turns to me and says, "Grammie, she has had it long enough. It is my turn."

I responded, "Liam, it is not a matter of turns. I needed to hand my phone to someone, I do not know why. Clara was the only one in the room. So, I handed it to her. I think it is time to take it back and see what she has been doing with it. She really has helped me by getting rid of most of the emails that had built up. Many of them are needing to be put in the trash, and they come in almost faster than they can be deleted. That could be what has kept her busy."

"Clara, I will take my phone back now," I said.

"I'm not finished yet," she replied.

That made me begin to wonder what else she had been doing. I put out my hand for her to give it to me so I could find out. Not surprising, she had been busily reading all of my saved texts. That was probably not a good thing. Not that there were any bad things in them, but there may have been some that she could use to hold over her parents and siblings.

I still have not figured out why I was supposed to hand over my phone and I probably never will. End of story.

P.S. I forgot the "watch" part. 

Hold My Phone and Watch This

By: Carrie Keiser

Jake and Fred have been friends for 10 years and they are always trying to one up the other, as guys do. Jake tends to be the one doing most of the one-uping these days. They are detectives with the Granite County Unified Police Department in a special new division, a magical detective division known as the SDD. They meet up early every morning at the gym or the trail for their workout.  Frequently, Jake will say, “Hold my phone and watch this,” as he hands his phone to Fred and prepares to do something crazy!  

Last month, the guys were out for a run through the state park and Jake thrust his phone in Fred’s direction and said those fear inducing words, “Hold my phone and watch this!” Fred barely had had time to catch the phone when Jake took off at breakneck speed, ran up a tree and perched himself on a limb.  Thinking that was the end of his latest trick, Fred slowed down and gazed up into the tree. Jake chose that moment to launch into the air, do a double flip and stick the landing like a gold medalist in the Olympics. Fred shook his head remembering the many times he had had to heal Jake before they could return from their workout to report on duty. 

Another time the guys were out on their morning run but Jake had chosen to run through a part of the city not in their neighborhoods. As they passed a colonial style house with a for sale sign in the front yard, Jake turned to Fred and shouted, “Hold my phone and watch this!” He tossed his phone to Fred and skipped up the steps to peer inside the windows.  With a huge grin on his face, he told Fred that this was it, the house he’d been looking for, the one he would buy and then he could finally ask Jazmine to marry him. Fred rolled his eyes and did his best to encourage Jake to stop snooping before an inquisitive neighbor called them in. Jake retrieved his phone and contacted the realtor on the spot to arrange a walk through.